When words just aren’t enough

One of the greatest fears anyone has when leaving home for any period of time is that something will happen to their family or friends while they are away. Two weekends ago this nightmare scenario came true for Amy Cooke, one of the two Ulster girls who is on the hockey team here in Richmond with me. Amy woke early on the Saturday morning to countless missed calls and text messages on her phone from different people saying that they needed to talk to her. Automatically, she feared the worst. She rang one of her friends back to be told that her best friend had suddenly and unexpectedly died in Nottingham University, where she attended college.

By the time I got to Cookie’s room a half an hour later, she was devastated and understandably so. What do you say in these situations? What’s the point in saying anything? She handled this dreadfully tragic situation with maturity beyond her years, leaving me and many others astounded at her inner strength. She was on a flight home by lunchtime on the Sunday and had landed into Belfast airport early Monday morning. I consider both Amy and Kerri (McDonald, also from Ulster) to be like my sisters. If they are ever down or upset, I want to know what’s wrong and I want to fix it… instantly! I feel a responsibility for them since I’ve known them for so many years, because we’re from the same island – which brings us even closer together when we’re far away from home – because I’m the older one and have been here a year longer, but, most importantly, because I care about them so much. Seeing this happen to Cookie and knowing she was so far away from home, her parents and siblings and not being able to do anything to relieve her of how she was feeling was difficult to do. Having said that, I am so glad I was able to be there even if it meant just sitting with her. Ryan (Elliott, associate coach), Kerri, Cookie and I have become a sort of a family over here, always looking out for one another. We’re so lucky to have each other. The Americans are absolutely fantastic and incredibly supportive, going above and beyond the call of duty in making sure we’re doing well, but there’s a lot to be said for having someone from home who understands just that little bit better.

As international student athletes, the fear something will happen to someone back home while we’re on a different continent is always present but having said that, we cannot live our lives through this fear. It’s one of the many challenges anyone who travels faces, but putting our lives on hold in the fear that this will happen would be unreasonable and nonsensical. Instead, we must place our trust in the hope that God will look out for our loved ones while we’re away and if something is to happen to our friends or family that we have the strength to cope and look to those around us for support. Ar dheis Dé go raibh a anam